Get your contracts in writing folks.ДЈ1-yo Danny Ruxton quit his job to spend three years designing fur-fringed, rainbowlicious, HersheyвЂ™s Kiss unicorn nipples. By December he decided heвЂ™d waited long enough. TheyвЂ™d agreed in June that heвЂ™d be paid after the insurance money came through. вЂ“ Дickhead roofer in question, Andrew Jackson Higdon, was charged with criminal trespass and damage to property after removing the shingles and roofing felt after the homeowner didnвЂ™t pay him as quickly as he wanted. It must have flown in through the window and into my purse.вЂќ It seems the cops didnвЂ™t find the story credible since they arrested her.ДonвЂ™t enter into verbal contracts with roofers. When officers pulled over a car and said they smelled pot, passenger and Florida woman (I know, shocking), Kennecia Posey, admitted the weed was hers but insisted that the small baggie of cocaine in her bag wasnвЂ™t hers, saying, вЂњI donвЂ™t know anything about any cocaine. When Have A Coke And A Smile Goes Wrong, What Do You Do? вЂ“ Another body part of his found in woods nearby, presumably after it slid off the roof of her car, as is the fate of all styrofoam doggy bags. Who DoesnвЂ™t Love Getting A Little Head, Eh Marti? вЂ“ Д¤1yo Virginia woman Roena, apparently dissatisfied with the head she was getting, decided to take her cunnilingus to-go and decapitated her 29yo boвЂ¦ named Bo.

No word yet on whether Ma Bell is considering this a вЂњlong distanceвЂќ serviceвЂ¦ Unfortunately, for our would be Urologist, this tangling occurred in his bladder, requiring emergency surgery. As anyone whoвЂ™s ever unplugged a computer knows, cables tangles themselves up as if by magic. Actually, when we decided to record today, it was Aaron who reminded me (and me, my wife) that itвЂ™s our anniversary, so if it wasnвЂ™t for this show, weвЂ™d have likely forgottenвЂ¦ again.ДЄ Chinese man with an вЂњitchinessвЂќ he couldnвЂ™t scratch enlisted the help of the worlds last corded phone by cramming the useless deviceвЂ™s cable up is urethra to вЂњscratchвЂќ at a burning sensation. Steve: Today is my 19th wedding anniversary and IвЂ™m spending some of it with you fine people. (ItвЂ™s more like bronchitis, but thanks for playing. Please keep her in your thoughts and iTunes Reviews вЂ“ those are better than prayersвЂ¦ Patron вЂ“ Dave the British Yeti! Here he is among the best people on earth, our patrons! You can become a patron too atВ extra storyвЂ¦ itвЂ™s about drinking gravy! They even get tired of goddesses.Д«ut before we get to all that, letвЂ™s have a beer! This WeekвЂ™s Beer He fathered multiple gods through the earth mother goddess, Papa, then left her for some new brides to make people.

Since itвЂ™s a sausage fest, hereвЂ™s a fact about the Maori god, Rangi, considered the father of mankind. Is dying, as per the usualвЂ¦ Har har har har. This week I learned that revealing the intimate details of Donald TrumpвЂ™s sex life to the public is only going to make the opioid crisis worse. Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis - because, while Rangi (the Maori sky god)В hasnвЂ™t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience! In This WeekвЂ™s Show, episode 179, JennвЂ™s gone so we scoured the internet for inappropriate headlinesвЂ¦ enjoy.

Sausage fest meme